I have a burden for marriages and I'm concerned about the way our behavior and conduct directly or indirectly erodes family values and put marriages in danger. Some of our married sisters have continued to behave as single ladies years after marriage. There is always a line drawn after marriage for jokes, play and familiarity in general.
Today, many marriages are sick to the point of comatose because of ignorance, "I don't care attitude and disobedience to the word of God. Some couples are already exploring strange ways to find satisfaction in life as marriage they say, has not been fair to them. Though office romance may not be the only reason for the many separations and divorces we are seeing in marriage today, it has contributed to it or worsened the menace.
Many who have made their mark in life, intelligent and successful young people have been leveled and brought low in marriage, partly because marriage has no quick fix. The couples must work out their marriage and commit to its success. They must fear God, love themselves and refuse to be seperated by friends and relatives.
They must also be Committed to the success of their relationship. Marriage is a long distance marathon race, not a sprint. It is not in marriage today that the man will continue to boss the wife around or ignore her feelings, also the wife that thinks because she earns more money than the husband, she will no longer submit to him is not doing well. These are some of the realities that are threatening marriages and frustrating couples, not forgetting childlessness and enemies behind the scene.
Frustrated women easily fall prey to mischievous male colleagues who try to comfort them with fake words and compliments. Many ladies fall flat to this smart trap, saying her colleague appreciates them more than their husband.This is usually the loophole the enemy uses to gain a foothold on the marriage to attack it either that time or later in the future.
This is because even if the situation is resolved, women hardly close the door of friendship they opened with one or two colleagues during the challenging times. This is one of the ways office romance start for some ladies.
Infidelity or marital unfaithfulness is seriously threatening families today because of lack of fear of God and indiscipline. Many young people think that sleeping with senior officers will give them protection and promotion. In the financial institution, this is very rampant. Divorcées, single mothers and widowers in high positions entice younger men with pecks in order to satisfy their lust, and many aggressive young married men start platonic relationship with charming ladies, which develop with time to threaten their marriages. What then is office romance?
OFFICE ROMANCE:
This is a simply relationship with a colleague in the office. It is common with spinsters and bachelors who think maybe they can meet their love in the office or those who just cannot control their emotions. It becomes a worrisome matter when married people are involved. when married men or women abandons their spouse for the man or lady they met in the office, the effect of such relationship, no matter how they cover it, will affect their marriages and relationship at home many years after they have left the work. It could lead to separation, divorce or even untimely death. Though many reputable organizations frown at it and others has strict rules forbidding it, it however still thrives underground.
Office romance has its price, apart from destroying the home. It causes low productivity and waters-down the authority of a compromising officer over the subordinates. If you are the manager and happen to misbehave with your subordinate, you loose your authority in that office, as your other workers will easily question your judgement.
Young people who find it difficult to control their emotions will always have their fingers burnt due to office romance. They loose their jobs for sometimes milling round their boss mistress.
HOW DOES IT START
In a lot of ways and for many varied reasons, people become drawn to each other in the work place. Some guys will just start greeting and complimenting a married woman/lady, telling her how beautiful she looks. This behavior is continued until it permeates the lady’s heart and she begins to pay attention to the guy and her dressing everyday.
Some other people devise their own methods of getting close to their target lady or man. It always ends in a wrong way with one person bearing the brunt, It bring down morale and authority in the work place and many times lead to reduced productivity.
Once in place, office affair make people look forward to going to the office rather than being with their family. It causes people to leave home early in the morning and return very late at night on the excuse of overtime or work overload.
Whenever one is in place, an observant husband or wife will notice the eagerness of his partner to go early to work. Also, there will be a subtle efforts on the partner having the affair to dress better in order to please his office boss/mistress/lover.
REASONS FOR OFFICE ROMANCE
There are many factors responsible for this unhealthy behaviour, but the truth is that most women who do this does not understand their responsibility in marriage. Marriage is a union and not a joining together that leaves any part wholly or partly independent.
After marriage, the lady’s body is not her own alone, but that of the husband also. Some of the reasons advanced by women are sickening. Here are some of them:
1. Some women have high sexual drive which their husband cannot meet up with. From where did they get the high sexual drive? - some of them are exposured to blue films and pornography. .After hiding to watch those crazy drug propelled women, without any value for their body, they want to practice same at home. Sister/madam, you are trying to kill your husband!
2. Other women are doing it. hmnnn, who are those other women. some of then are widows, single mothers and divorcees and women who have separated from their husband. These women eager for companion because some of them are lonely.
Instead of them to look up to God and trouble God with prayer without season according to 1 Thessalonians 5:17, some of them are going about helping themselves, falling easily to younger men and sometimes boys. I once stumbled on a young boy who they say was a "powerhouse"; to a matured single mother in Abuja. But unknown to the woman, the young man was also "power housing" the woman's housemaid. This is evil.
What are the other reasons?
3. They stay long hours in the office, get familiar and share information and jokes. Is all these any cogent reason to destroy your home and/or loose eternity? NO.
4. To get promotion in a competitive and highly rewarding environment.
5. Frustration in their marriage - These category of women discuss their marriage freely with some colleagues who pretend to care about them and even love them more than their husbands. These fake compliments and relationship eventually work against the marriage of the lady.
6. The next reason is laughable - meeting a dude (whatever these funny words mean) who has so much confidence, drive and creativity like their husband. Can you imagine this kind of grammer coming from a married woman.
A believer working in the office either within or outside his state, should realize the burden of trust and responsibility God and marriage placed on them. Without knowing some of these basics, and being guided by them, a lot of ladies carry on with their spinster attires, dressing, talking and cracking corrupt jokes with colleagues.
Some even fill the overtime sheet willing to work after hours. Tell me, in which reasonable office are married women who have their home and children to care of, are asked to work overtime. I believe that lack of Word of God is also a factor. Where is infidelity when the word of God is dwelling inside of us.
The Word of God restrain us from many worldly desires and behaviour and focus our mind on the right things. All the talk of high sexual drive would be curtailed as they are caused by things we choose to expose ourselves to. All the lack of interest in sex, low libido, unnecessary use of sexually motivating drugs and drinks will be a thing of the past. Also, with God in a marriage, couples will jointly and honestly address any sexual difficulties that come the way of their joy in marriage.
Any one going into marriage as a Christian should know that marriage is responsibility and not a child’s play. Marriage is a place to fulfill God’s plan for your life and that of your family. Any one going into marriage should also know that marriage is built on God’s Word, love and trust.
If God is not in your marriage, then Tom, dick and Harry will manipulate and influence the marriage and eventually destroy it. But, if God be in your marriage, by this I mean that both of you have given your heart to Jesus Christ, then the fear of God will guide you.
Love and trust are basic to any successful union. This trust must never be broken as it could bring the relationship to an end. Some people find it difficult to forgive their unfaithful partners, while some think their unfaithful partners cannot change. All these bring strife which eventually bring separation or divorce. Because trust takes time to build, and it strengthens the love among couples, I will suggest the following helpful tips and guidelines for young people.
CODE OF CONDUCT FOR WORKING CLASS MARRIED WOMAN
Let our sisters take note of the following rules also:
OFFICE CONDUCT RULES:
1."TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE OPPOSITE SEX!
2. " AVOID BODILY CONTACT WITH THE OPPOSIT SEX (STRANGERS)" in the office
3. DON'T DISCUSS YOUR MARRIAGE WITH A THIRD PARTY.
4. MAKE A VOW OF CHASTITY
5. HANDLE YOUR BODY WITH HONOUR
6. COMMIT TO THE SUCCESS OF YOUR MARRIAGE
7. NO SCANTY DRESSING.
DANGERS OF OFFICE ROMANCE:
1. Loss of employment.
2. Loss of respect among colleagues.
3. Moral burden and betrayal of trust.
4. Conflict of interest issues.
5. Loss of authority.
6. The integrity question - Colleagues will start questioning your judgement in certain matters, thinking you are biased.
7. Misconduct: I witnessed one among fresh recruits in a bank in Lagos some years ago, that led to the sack of the two randy employees.
The bank was conducting training for fresh graduates newly hired by the bank before their posting. The head of Human Resources went to the Ladies in the cool afternoon when a training session was going on. She heard a lady's ecstatic cry in one of the toilet cabins. The Lady was urging her young man to go deeper...hmnnn. The head HR, being a woman was shocked and wondered if these were the fresh graduates that will take the bank to the next level..NO. She waited for them to finish and collected their ID. Your guess is as good as mine, why was that - office romance!
HOW TO AVOID IT
1. Any woman that discusses her family issues to colleagues will one day regret it. STOP IT NOW. Every family has issue, why discuss your husband with small boys in your office who are not even up to your husband?. You are not doing well.
2. Avoid over familiarity with colleagues.
3. Avoid unnecessary play and body contact.
4. If you must discuss your marital challenges, let it be with trusted married women for ladies and married man for men. Never with an opposite sex as it may serve as invitation to dialogue.
5. Be professional, focus on your duties. Take your eyes off the opposite sex.
6. Start no mutual friendship that will build excitement between you and a married man or woman.
7. Resist every demonic instincts and impulse. Fear God in all you do in the office.
8. Don't lust for evil things in your heart. Trust in the Lord for your promotion and work hard.
9. Never you take advantage of peoples challenges to exploit them.
CONCLUSION:
Beloved, there is no temptation that you cannot overcome if you are determined. Married men and women, please make a vow of chastity and God will help you to overcome every office or even market place trial in Jesus name.
Guide yourself, your integrity and marriage. If a mischievous man is daily complimenting you in the office, ask him how many times he complimented his wife and rebuke that serpent. He is looking for a loophole to gain access to your life and marriage. If there are issues at home, help your spouse to overcome it.
All those who have made this regrettable mistake, repent and cry to God for forgiveness. then you forgive yourself and say NEVER AGAIN to this trap of Satan in Jesus name.
Shalom!
Please feel free to email us for questions, help to overcome any marital challenge and prayers.
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